Weight loss------ugh-----do those two words make you cringe like me?  Ok---New Year----New You---New Years resolutions---yep I now find myself taking on one of the oldest resolutions of all time-----LOSING WEIGHT!  Doesn't that sound so ick? Well to me, it does.  It brings up visions of suffering, torture, and just plain unhappiness to me.  Ok, I must admit, I am sick of myself physically. I am now heavier than I have ever been NON-pregnant----eeeeewwwwwww---oh well that is life right?  I still believe that I am a valuable person, which is important, but this weight...ugh!!

So how do we tackle these resolutions? BEATS ME? I don't make them. I take the easy way out and say "Oh well, they never last, so don't make them in the first place". Well as I take a sip of Merlot I think I have reached my max! Yep you guys are here to witness this---I have reached my max!

I am a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers.   What that means is that approximately 6 years ago I FINALLY worked the program, lost 50 lbs, and kept it off for 6 weeks after I met my goal weight.  Well, I have not kept it off over the past 4 years and I have gone up again so I find myself going back to Weight Watchers AGAIN.  Now don't get me wrong---In my opinion....WEIGHT WATCHER IS THE BEST PROGRAM OUT THERE-------IT WORKS WHEN YOU WORK IT------I did not work it for a LONG time! think I am ready to work it again.  Ya know----I hate being fat---I feel like I have always been, and watching "The Biggest Loser" I think maybe it is time for me to be more real in my weight loss.  Maybe it is time to get to the core reason of why I eat like a crazed fool and chug down a 12 pack of beer.  I am 37 (going on 38 years old) and crap---maybe it is time to grow up a bit and take care of myself.

You know, to type that stinks---for some reason in my brain, growing up has a stuffy aspect to it. Am I alone in that thinking??

Well I know a ton of you are out there deciding to start a new year eating healthy, so you know what? Let's do it together-----don't be alone! You comment to me and I will respond. Let's go through this interesting life journey together!  I promise now to write weekly and you now promise to respond. In my opinion---ANYTHING GOES---just don't swear and we will make it through this life change together. It may suck, but let's do it together. Who knows what we will figure out?  Let's finally keep that resolution longer than a week.  We are in this together!

When we are stuck or in a state of uncertainty, it is difficult to move forward on our dreams and intentions. We are inclined to stay in that state of uncertainty instead of moving forward to a place of unknown. Yet, when we think about it, every move forward is a move into the unknown. We take the risk when we are certain that it will benefit us, or if it is a life and death situation; for example, staying in a passionless job because you are afraid of not being able to pay the bills. We resign ourselves to a life of drudgery instead of trusting the process and ourselves and taking a leap of faith.  
 
Let's visit those things that hold us back. The most common reason is fear. I believe fear is a catch all phrase for us not knowing and trusting ourselves and the process. If we can truly trust in ourselves, knowing who we are, it is less difficult to take that leap. I still ask the ladies, "Who are you?"

Many of us cannot fully answer the question. Why is this? Because it is easier to stay stuck, not taking full responsibility for one's life, than to make decisions that might get you what you want, or might get you evicted. I am by no means saying to make these decisions without proper planning. This planning is all part of the process called life. It pains me that so many women are not in touch with whom they really are and what they truly want out of life. Oh yes, we know what we don't want, but what do we want? Can we name it? Can we allow it once it shows up?
 
How many of us women can resonate to this: I have taken care of everyone else's needs all my life...I not sure "what I want"?

 
Stopping is a spiritual action 
 
This can be a sticking point for some people, because stopping may seem like resigning or being lazy. This is far from the truth. There is stopping actions all throughout our lives, for a reason. We stop at red lights in order to allow someone else to move. Yet, when we are stopped at a red light, we tap our feet anxiously wanting the light to hurry up and change so we can move on. Move on to what? Just move! Stopping allows us to read the signs of the times, within our own lives and intentions. How can we know what we truly want if we do not take a moment to stop and ask ourselves? Then, if we keep moving like the hamster on the treadmill, and the thing we want shows up, will we stop long enough to allow and receive it? I say we do not and we miss the opportunity. 
 
Once we take the time to stop, we ask ourselves what do we want and when do we want it? Do not worry about how we get it, that part is the power of intention. Our part is to just show up in a state of allowing and receiving. We ask for what we want, then promptly negate the request. For example, we may want a new home. Yet, we say but I cannot afford it, the market is bad for buyers, how will I make the payments, on and on and on. Just state the intention, and then allow it to come. You cannot state an intention when you don't know what the intention is. Stop and ask the questions. Some questions to consider: 
 
Where am I in my life right now? 
Where do I want to be right now? 
What is the gap between the two?
What do I need to do to bridge that gap?
 
Also, remain in a state of gratitude. When we are grateful, we are not in a negative place. Remember, love and fear cannot co-exist. When we are in one state, we cannot be in the other. Which state are you choosing? And remember, it is your choice. 
 
Live your life on purpose!

I received an issue of Self Improvement Magazine the other day.  If there's anyone who can benefit from some self improvement advice, it's me.
 
I was impressed with Self Improvement.  I particularly liked an article by Lisa Brooks Kift called "10 Characteristics of Successful Relationships." In order to be able to build mutually beneficial, long lasting relationships with the people in your life, you need to know and understand yourself, and have the ability to resolve conflict in a positive manner.

Lisa is a couple's therapist. Here is a sampling of Lisa's characteristics of successful relationships (at home or at work) with my comments on each...

• Friendship - When you think of the people in your life as friends, it's easier to build strong relationships with them.  Friends go out of their way for one another.  Strong relationships are built on the willingness to give without the expectation of getting anything in return.

• Humor - If you can laugh together, you can often defuse conflict before it gets to a boiling point.  While conflict is inevitable, the more you can stop it before it starts the better for the relationship.

• Communication - When you freely and openly express your thoughts and feelings, you add to a relationship.  Open, honest communication is necessary for any relationship to grow and flourish. 

• Chore Sharing - Working together brings people closer together.  There is a sense of shared satisfaction when you work with another person to accomplish a goal or complete a project.  This sense of shared satisfaction is a great relationship building block.

• Avoiding Criticism, Contempt and Defensiveness - Lisa describes criticism, contempt and defensiveness, along with stonewalling (refusing to engage with the other person) as the "Four Horseman of the Apocalypse" for any relationship.  Just don't do them.

• Reliability - Strong relationships are characterized by both parties commitment to follow through.  Put simply.  Do what you say you'll do, and your relationships will flourish.

The common sense point here is simple. Strong relationships are a building block of interpersonal competence.  Here are six tips for building strong relationships.  1) Be a friend.  2) Lighten up.  See the humor in situations that might not appear funny at first.  3) Communicate.  Share your thoughts and feelings.  Listen to others as they share theirs.  4) Work together to solve problems and complete projects.  5) Don't criticize, provide feedback.  Don't be defensive, listen to feedback.  6) Follow through.  Do what you say you'll do.
 
That's my take on how to build strong relationships.  What's yours?

What if we made fewer assumptions and asked more questions with the intent of having a win/win with the people we meet?

WE think we're communicating, we are not.

WE use words that are familiar without the same meanings.

WE drive each other down into the dumps on not delivering.

WE didn't even agree on what to deliver.

WE think others are foes before they are friends.

WE fight for what we want rather than ask for it.

WE find others wrong before they are right.

WE play to win, not to include.

WE harbor bad feelings till we burst.

WE confront disappointments late.

WE seek to blame before we seek to take initiative.

WE hide behind our fears and hold onto them too long...
WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS...

WHAT IF we had a real choice to make...

To give each other a chance to learn, grow and nourish.

To listen from the heart first before the head.

To ask when we don't understand, then listen until we get what others really mean.

To make winning the outgrowth of doing great things together with others.

WHAT IF we made the VITAL choice today...

To honor how far we've come and stay focused on the journey ahead.

To understand that without others we'll never get there.

To realize that we create the future and then step into it.

To take the time to author the future WE want to create together.

Travertine Spa is excited to announce our new website design!  To launch our new chic style we want to offer Chic Galleria.com readers something special.  Here is the surprise giveaway!  Visit www.travertinespa.com.  Come back to this article and leave us a comment.  We want to know your thoughts on our new design.  What do you love?  What intrigues you about our site?  Are there any products you would love to see?

We are giving one lucky person a $60 gift certificate to Travertine Spa!  Leave us a comment here and one winner will be chosen at random from our pool of comments.  Hurry because this contest ends Monday, December 22 at midnight EST.

Just to entice you a little more, Travertine Spa is offering Chic Galleria.com readers 30% off instock products until December 21.  Just enter the code CHICGALLERIA when you check out.

Visit www.travertinespa.com.

TIME IS UP!  Check your Chic Galleria.com Newsletter on Monday, December 29th where a winner will be announced. Thank you to all who visited Travertine Spa and entered our contest.