Sometimes, we don’t understand just how dark it is until we start to see the light.

As children, society tells us that there are certain things we can and cannot do.  Rewards and recognition may have come with ultimatums (‘If you don’t get better grades, I’ll be so angry with you.  You’ll never go anywhere in life if you don’t hang out with this group of kids, and such). Perhaps we were flat-out told to do something in order to make someone else happy (Darling, marry a rich man who can support you – you know, that sort of thing).

We thus ... Read More »]]>

Sometimes, we don’t understand just how dark it is until we start to see the light.

As children, society tells us that there are certain things we can and cannot do.  Rewards and recognition may have come with ultimatums (‘If you don’t get better grades, I’ll be so angry with you.  You’ll never go anywhere in life if you don’t hang out with this group of kids, and such). Perhaps we were flat-out told to do something in order to make someone else happy (Darling, marry a rich man who can support you – you know, that sort of thing).

We thus become the victims of a limited way of believing.  As children, we’re surrounded by the intentions and ideals of parents and teachers.  They have goals for us, which is good – to a degree – but oftentimes those goals are presented with the ‘do this or else’ caveat.  As a result, we grow up to fear a few things, shun a few things, and generally repeat the cycle as adults.

These limited beliefs, however, only stunt our growth. They may exist as beliefs about our own capabilities (I’m not smart enough), beliefs about what it takes to succeed (I don’t have the funds to do what I want to do), beliefs about how we should relate to other people (even though he’s a pain, I should call Uncle Leo more often), and such. Moving beyond a limited belief system is a critical first step toward becoming truly happy and satisfied.  No matter your age, no matter your status (socioeconomically, relationship, etc.), the time to take control and emerge from the darkness of limited belief is now.

You can learn how to identify those beliefs that are limiting you and then replace them with positive ones that support who you want to be (You’ll never be seen as fabulous  if you spend most of your time in the gutter).   This shift in thinking can mean the difference between a lifetime of ‘could haves’ versus accomplishing what you really want in life.

The key, which you already hold, is to make a decision about who you want to be, how you want to act, and how you want to feel.  Our feelings and thought processes play a huge role in creating our lives.  Yes, I said creating because that is what we do, whether we realize it or not.  Our thoughts, our words, our actions, and even our manner of dress dictate the outcome.

No challenge is too great.  We merely must set our minds toward success, feel ourselves being successful, and offer gratitude for the success we’re currently achieving.  Replace any thought or belief that is keeping you from achieving your goals with an empowering thought or belief that will take you closer to your goals. Ignore the doom and gloom crowd.  Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people, places and things.  Stay focused on who you want to be, and know that you are worthy of being that person.

Beth Newman is an image consultant, life coach, and author based out of Houston, TX.  For more information, visit www.newmanimage.info.  Online consultations available!

Photo Credit © Edward Bartel | Dreamstime.com

You are likely thinking “Success in three simple steps,” ha! That just seems too good to be true.   This is one time when that’s not the case. If ... Read More »]]> GPS. You are probably most familiar with GPS as in Global Positioning System.  The wonderful and innovative system that helps you get from where you are to where you want to be.  That’s what got me thinking.  If GPS can give you directions to travel to your chosen destination why can’t we use GPS to achieve the things we want?  Hence, GPS for success was born.

You are likely thinking “Success in three simple steps,” ha! That just seems too good to be true.   This is one time when that’s not the case. If you do these three simple steps I guarantee you will get what you want.  All you have to do is a little thinking, writing and take some action.

The first step to getting what you want is knowing what you want.  That is the G in GPS. Goals. If you don’t know where you want to go, you will end up somewhere else.  There are three things you must do in the goal setting phase.  You must write your goals down. You must state them as a positive and state them in the present tense.  One way to do this is to write I AM… and write what you want as if you already have it.  Something like, “I AM a world famous self help author and motivational speaker that regularly appears on Oprah.”  It’s clear, it’s positive and it’s in the present tense.  Now it’s your turn. Grab a pen and a piece of paper and write your goals.

Step two is plan. Make a plan.  This is where most people lose their momentum.  So often, we get lost in the what to do next phase.  “How do I make my goals happen?”  This is where you make a plan.  Not only do you make a plan but you break it down into daily bite size pieces. Tiny little things you can do each and every day to end up at your goal over time.   Here is a quick example.  When I was in the mortgage business making a million a year that didn’t happen by accident.  I knew about half of the loans that come in the door will end up funding in any one month.  Therefore, I needed to bring in twice the number of loans than what I wanted to close.  So, I would take my yearly goal and divide it by 12. These are how many loans I needed to close on average each month.  Each month, I’d take that number and divide it by the number of business days in the month.  Then I would multiply by 2 which would tell me how many loans I needed to bring in every day.  That is making a plan. If I thought about how I was going to bring in a hundred loans in a month I would have been overwhelmed.  Instead, I sat down came up with a plan and diced it up into daily bite size steps.  You already know your goal, now go make a plan!

The last step is surmounting fear.  So many, so often let fear get in the way of getting what they want.  Most of the time we are afraid of things that aren’t even real.  Sure fear feels real, but many times it’s not.  Here’s the thing there are two types of fears.  Real fears and fake fears.  That’s it.  Real fears are ones that could cause you physical harm or death.  Fake fears only exist in your head.  Fake fears are things like fear of failure, success, rejection, etc.  There is no such thing as failure.  You may not have gotten the results that you wanted so you learned what worked or didn’t work and make adjustments and try again.  Same goes for rejection.  If someone doesn’t want you, or what you have to offer, you aren’t going to die or have physical harm by asking. If they say no, then move onto the next. Are you going to let a fake fear, something that doesn’t exist, get in the way of getting what you want? The choice is yours.  Whose stronger, you or a fake fear?

Those are the three simple steps to success. Just follow GPS to end up where you want to be.

Sharmen Lane, was high school dropout manicurist, who became a college graduate millionaire and a top salesrep at a multimillion dollar organization.  She has been highly recognized for her award winning career in sales and is now a highly recommended International speaker, and four-time author.

For more information visit www.sharspeaks.com

Photo credit © Ertekmali | Dreamstime.com

Ah, New Year’s Resolutions. They come but once per year, and cause quite a stir. Indeed, people talk about their New Year’s Resolutions quite freely. A small portion of people even write them down. But how many truly achieve them? The number is probably dismally small. Why? Because most people do a great job of talking about their resolutions, but don’t do such a great job of taking action on them. They often set themselves up for failure by biting off more than they can chew!

Take, for example, the most ... Read More »]]> By Lisa Montanaro

Ah, New Year’s Resolutions. They come but once per year, and cause quite a stir. Indeed, people talk about their New Year’s Resolutions quite freely. A small portion of people even write them down. But how many truly achieve them? The number is probably dismally small. Why? Because most people do a great job of talking about their resolutions, but don’t do such a great job of taking action on them. They often set themselves up for failure by biting off more than they can chew!

Take, for example, the most popular New Year’s Resolution: to lose weight (get in shape, exercise more, achieve greater levels of fitness, shrink a few sizes…  any version will do!). What most people do is come out swinging. They join a gym and try to exercise 5 days a week, when they were formerly a couch potato and led a sedentary lifestyle (not only is this setting you up for failure, but it can be dangerous too!). They deprive themselves of every food they love, instead of eating a little bit of everything in moderation or learning their trigger foods and slowly replacing them with better choices. In other words, they try to do too much in too little time. They experience set backs, or fail altogether, which then leads to a defeatist attitude and they say “See, I knew I couldn’t do it.” They then give up.

Does this pattern sound familiar? If so, try a different approach this year. Try taking it slowly, one step at a time, and actually taking action throughout the year. How? Here are some tips:

Start Small & Grow Your Goal Little by Little

Instead of looking at your goal or resolution as a major project, think of just the first step. For example, instead of thinking that you have to get your entire life organized, try keeping your appointments for the first week, clearing out your email inbox the second week, saying no to some tasks and events you can’t handle the third week, etc. Get the picture? Take it step by step so each smaller goal feels, and is, more manageable.

Reinforce Goal Setting in Various Ways

Use different learning styles (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, and tactile) to reinforce goal setting. Perhaps you can journal about your New Year’s Resolutions (one of my favorite activities!). Maybe you prefer to set up a vision board to see your goals. Or you can listen to podcasts and audio programs that reinforce your resolutions. It doesn’t matter which you choose, only that you choose a way to reinforce goal setting that works for you!

Ignore the Naysayers

Often, you are making actual progress towards achieving your resolutions or goals, but someone tries to sabotage you. Try not to let this derail your efforts! You need to stay the course, despite what they say. The famous life coach Martha Beck talks about surrounding yourself with people who can be your “believing eyes.” I love this idea! Adopt it and use it as your own. Stay away from the Negative Nellies right now, and surround yourself with people who believe in your goal and will help you achieve it.

Be Accountable

Some of the world’s most successful behavior modification programs are successful partly due to the strong accountability factor built into the program. Find an accountability partner, join a mastermind group, or hire a coach. You need motivation and someone to share your trials and successes with. Having accountability systems in place can be a powerful aid in accomplishing the goals you set.

Celebrate Success

Make sure to reward yourself along the way for achieving success, no matter how small. Set up milestones, and as you achieve them, figure out ways to motivate yourself to keep going. The more successful you feel at each step, the more apt you are to keep moving on the path towards achieving your full goals.

Lisa Montanaro, “The Solutions Expert,” is Principal of LM Organizing Solutions, LLC, a professional services firm created in 2002 that offers professional organizing, business and life coaching, and motivational speaking to individuals and organizations. Lisa is the author of the upcoming book “The Ultimate Life Organizer: An Interactive Guide to a Simpler, Less Stressful & More Organized Life” to be released in February 2011 by Peter Pauper Press. You can find out more about Lisa at her website, www.LMOrganizingSolutions.com or blog, www.DecideToBeOrganized.com.

She knows how to work a room, she’s always impeccably dressed, and no matter how hard you might try you just can’t seem to break her confidence. Hate her or love her, everyone wants to be her. Here are 10 tactics to achieving your own Girl on Top status: