Chic Galleria » love

Have you had your ‘Apple A Day’?

Dr. Margaret Cochran — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 07:47:00 +0000

The old adage is true you know, “An Apple A Day Keeps The Doctor Away”. And no, we’re not going to talk about colon health. Disappointed? Don’t be, because we are going to address another regularly occurring and uncomfortable to discuss topic, the struggle for personal happiness.

Now you may have heard that money, fame, power and material possessions, can’t guarantee joy. But, like most of the rest of us, you probably thought that this statement was just another unrealistic platitude aimed at soothing your ruffled feathers when you failed to meet your monetary or romantic goals. But, I’m here to tell you that it’s true. In fact the folk wisdom you heard from your parents is backed up by oodles and gobs of empirical data, with study after study showing that good ol’ mom and dad were right after all.

Here’s the thing, you see you actually have very little control over most of what happens to you. Things like stock market crashes, developing plantar warts and/or unplanned, unpleasant and unwanted visits from your less than homo-sapien, throwback, brother-in-law. But, you have absolute control over what you do about what happens to you.

Take Barack Obama for example. Bless his heart, he is reviled by everyone these days. Democrats, Republicans, Netanyahu. And still he comes up smiling, authentic and unshaken. How does he do that? Well it’s all about that “Apple A Day” thing. Apple, in this case is an acronym for:

• Attachment: A feeling of belonging in a romantic relationship, a close knit community or group that supports and nurtures us and whom we know ‘has our back’. Attachment has been shown to lengthen life and mitigate known health risks like heart attack, stroke and cancer.

• Purpose: The ability and willingness to recognize that your life has meaning and that you are an important and integral contributor to your social group, your job, your community and the world. A sense of purpose improves self esteem and gives you energy for living.

• Play: Whether it’s extreme sports, taking your sweetie to a movie, reading books or collecting stamps, play makes the brain use dopamine. And dopamine is the neurotransmitter that enables feelings of pleasure and that allows us to focus and concentrate. Play allows you to experience enjoyment and literally helps you think and work better.

• Love: It’s true that love conquers all! Giving love and being loved is the most fulfilling and motivating force in life. No matter what happens, if we have love we know deep within us that somehow everything ‘will be all right’. Love has been shown to strengthen the immune system and reduce the production of the stress hormone, cortisol in the body.

• Enough: Having a sense of contentedness and not falling prey to the trap that is greed. Surrendering to your circumstances without playing victim and recognizing that you can choose to be happy with a Ford or a Ferrari, whatever life brings. A sense of life satisfaction has been shown to increase frustration tolerance and provide greater resilience to stress.

Using the ‘APPLE A Day’ plan does involve slowing down a bit, and living your life in a more considered way. In our current culture, sadly, thoughtful self-reflection is often frowned upon. Why, because you see, the more you stop and think for yourself, the less easy you are to control and manipulate and as there are lots of people, groups and organizations devoted to that task, ‘APPLE A Day’ thinking is problematic. But, if you have the courage to work at it, the rewards are endless!

So, to begin using the ‘APPLE A Day’ plan You need to ask yourself a few key questions from each category:

• Attachment
o If you don’t have a support group, ask yourself why not and what is your role in preventing this from happening?
o If you do have a support group, who do you become when you’re with them and do you like that person?

• Purpose
o Do you take pride in who you are and what you do? If not, why not?
o Do you look for ways to better your own life and the lives of others, whether it’s serving on a nonprofit board or picking up trash in your community?

• Play
o When and with whom do you have fun?
o Is it constructive fun?
o How do you express yourself creatively?
o If you are avoiding having fun such as taking a vacation or celebrating life in some other way, why are you doing so and what are you going to do about changing your behavior?

• Love
o Are your love relationships nurturing, mutually respectful and supportive? If not, why not?
o Can you give and receive love in equal measure or do you find this process to be a little lopsided? If so, what are you going to do about it?
o If the love in your life is not satisfactory, what is your role in keeping it this way and are you prepared to do things differently?

• Enough
o Do you have a sense of satisfaction in your life?
o How much is ‘enough’ for you, with regard to money, possessions, etc?
o When people get married they promise to be loving and kind to one another in good times and in bad and for richer or poorer. Have you made that commitment to yourself? Are you prepared to be happy no matter what your job title or how much money you have in the bank?

If you asked yourself these questions and have given the answers thoughtful consideration, you will have discovered that you are either already on the ‘APPLE’ plan or you have made some important realizations that will make you an ‘APPLE A Day’ pro in no time.

Because remember, you can’t always choose what happens to you, but you have absolute control over what you do about what happens to you, and, for that, all you need is an ‘APPLE A Day’…

Photo credit © Valua Vitaly | Dreamstime.com

Dead Anyone?

Dr. Margaret Cochran — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 07:16:51 +0000

Ever think about what happens when you die? This topic doesn’t usually come up in casual conversation except maybe when grandma sheds her mortal coil or when we get a scary diagnosis (go exercise, green leafy vegetables and Omega-3 fatty acids, go!). Or, when the world is at war, there has been an earthquake and a tsunami that have caused the death of thousands, not to mention a nuclear disaster that no one yet has a remedy for. In times like these even a good sense of humor isn’t enough to get us through. Yes-siree Bob, our current circumstances have created the sort of situation that gives one pause for thought.

So, think I did. And you know what I thought of? What I thought of, were all the people that I have been privileged to work with who have had Near Death Experiences or NDEs as they are called. Actually, upon reflection, they would be more accurately described as, Didn’t Stay Dead Experiences, DSDEs, or perhaps Was Only Dead For A Little Bit Experiences, WODFALBEs. But, those acronyms wouldn’t be as nice and, of course, an acronym by any other name?!

Anyway, I pretty much hear the same story over and over again. The person who has the NDE reports that they are aware of leaving their body and they find themselves drawn to a bright and inviting, many say compelling, light. Some folks report that while they are out of their body and on the way to the light that they have ‘experiences’, like seeing people in other parts of the hospital they are in, or paramedics working on their body at their accident scene and so forth, and others do not. When they finally move through the light, they come to this amazing and indescribable place. And, when they arrive there they hear a ‘VOICE’. The ‘VOICE’ which is neither male nor female says to them, “What did you do with it?” And together the ‘VOICE’ and the person review the life in question. There is no shame or sense of pejorative judgment on the part of the ‘VOICE’, just compassion, and sometimes humor.

During this encounter the soul in question both watches and experiences the whole of their life, kind of like a movie. But, there is more, for you see not only do they watch and experience their life from their own point of view, they also simultaneously see and feel it as though they were every other person they’ve ever come into contact with, as well. Yes, you heard me correctly, when the time comes, you will feel everything you have said and done, and not said and not done, to everyone in your life. Now think about that for a minute, just let that one sink in.

It’s a lot to consider, your life and how it affects you and everyone around you. The first time I heard that, the little hairs on the back of my neck stood right up and I thought, “What would my movie be like? What would I see and feel?”

The thing is though, the people I work with have obviously come back. They always report that they begged the ‘VOICE’ to be allowed to stay, but for one reason or another they were told they had more work to do on earth and that they must return to their bodies. So, I don’t know what happens next, what exists beyond the ‘VOICE’ and the celestial interview/screening room.

But I know someone who does! And it’s none other than the internationally known, psychic medium Lisa Williams. She has written an amazing new book called, Survival of the Soul available in bookstores and online booksellers now, or go to lisawilliams.com.

And thanks to Lisa Williams we can get the ‘skinny’ on the afterlife, or life after the ‘Movie’, ohhh, I get chills just thinking about it!

So, now that you’ve had a moment to consider it what do you think of your movie? Are you pleased or freaked out? One of the nice things about life is that there is always time for a ‘Do-Over’, even if the person or persons you need to have a ‘Do-Over’ with aren’t receptive, or even alive. You can make peace with yourself or others at any time, in body or out. What matters is your love and intention. What you say or pray must come from a deep and soul-felt place. In most cases, you will find people very forgiving. But even if they are unwilling to accept your request for their empathy and compassion on a personality level, they will be touched in a deep energetic place and each of you will, to the degree that you allow yourself to be, released from whatever negativity that binds you.

After all love is the most powerful force in the universe. Because with love we can do, and be, the impossible. With love, a way will be found to answer any questions and to solve every problem.

For example if we love our children and ourselves we will change our habits and actually focus on the real ‘American Dream’, which consists of personal responsibility with social consciousness, freedom of thought and speech, acceptance of all people as valuable no matter how different their customs and ideas may appear to be from what we are used to, taking care of the resources in this beautiful country of ours and attaining wealth to sustain a lifestyle we can enjoy without compromising our values.

In so doing we must ignore and refute ‘paucity mongers’ who attempt to convince us that we cannot be powerful in every sense of the word if we love without fear. These are the same ‘paucity mongers’ who would say that I am, by advocating that love be our personal and national primary focus, negating or neglecting our nation’s need to protect itself; and nothing could be further from the truth. It is indeed important for us to have a strong and well formed standing defense force and hopefully it will be one that spends most of its time, energy and resources on humanitarian pursuits that are a prophylaxis to armed military action. A strong national defense is vital, and it is equally vital that we have an educated, thoughtful and self-aware population who can think their way out of being targets for manipulation or having to go to war at all.

Until next time, I’m Dr. Margaret Cochran wishing you an acute awareness of how your behavior and choices affect your own life and the lives of others, excellent movie popcorn or the snack of your choice while you review your ‘life film’ on this side of the great mystery, and lots and lots of Wisdom, Love and Magic!

Dr. Margaret Cochran has been an educator and professional therapist for more than 28 years. With graduate degrees in Education, Social Work and Transpersonal Psychology she has worked with a wide variety of clients, both individual and organizational.

Dr. Cochran is the host of the internet radio show, ‘Wisdom, Love and Magic!’, which is number one on iTunes for mental health programming. She is also the author of ‘Sylvia and the Magic Power Sticks’ a fairy tale about how shame is often an integral part of everyday life. For more information please visit www.drcochran.com

Photo credit: Laura Vogt Photography

Surviving Valentine’s Day After Your Sweetheart Has Passed Away

Editor — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 07:55:57 +0000

By Joni Aldrich

For kids, Valentine’s Day is a time to exchange funny cards and eat boxes of chocolate. For adults, it’s often much more than just a time to send flowers and buy heart jewelry, chocolates, and cards—it’s a time to rededicate your love to one special person. But when you’re a widow or widower, or have lost your love due to any unfortunate life circumstance, Cupid’s arrow can pierce your heart in a very different way on February 14^th. What was once a holiday of “warm fuzzies” can turn into a sorrowful day to overcome. Yet most grief counseling focuses on the holidays in December, not the one in February.

If you find yourself alone on February 14^th after years of celebrating with someone you loved very much, the void that you feel can be overwhelming. It’s difficult to see happy couples all around you when all you can think about is the person you have lost.

I speak from experience—I know firsthand the pain of grief and how challenging it can be to persevere through it. In 2006, I lost my husband Gordon after a two-year battle with cancer. In my book about surviving grief—The Losing of Gordon: A Beacon Through the Storm Called “Grief”, (www.griefbeacon.com) I tell the story of my own rebuilding after losing my husband. Each chapter begins with a touching, yet inspirational letter to Gordon that I wrote during my grief “process.”

It’s true that Valentine’s Day holds significance for most couples, but it was particularly special for Gordon and me. After losing my father in February, the whole season had become fraught with painful memories. Then a young man with a lot of heart came into my life, and it just so happened that Valentine’s Day was right after our first date. When I got home from work, Gordon had left a bouquet of pink carnations on my front porch. So, it became a yearly ritual for us to use Valentine’s Day as the anniversary of our first date together.

Because Valentine’s Day held so many precious memories, I still find the holiday difficult to get through, even though it’s been three years since her husband died. And she’s not alone. Red hearts and sappy songs on the radio can highlight loss as easily as they can inspire ardor. If you are facing this Valentine’s Day by yourself, let me offer some thoughts that might make the day easier to navigate.

Prepare in advance. Maybe it’s true that ignorance is bliss. Even if you wanted to forget about the existence of “V-Day,” though, our consumer-driven culture wouldn’t let you. Yes, I know you wish you could just hide under a rock until the last conversation heart has disappeared, but ignoring February 14^th will only work until you see displays of Valentine’s cards in the store, or see the florist busily making the rounds. Survival requires looking deep inside yourself to determine what you might do to make this holiday less painful. There is no secret formula—we’re all different—but try to focus on the fact that it’s just one day.”

Know what to avoid. Yes, it’s important to stay integrated into the outside world, and to remember the rituals and traditions you and your sweetheart shared with each other. But consider the possibility that Valentine’s Day might not be the best time to do either. Stay away from restaurants. For one thing, have you ever tried to get a table on Valentine’s Day? The word ‘crowded’ takes on a whole new meaning. Beyond that, though, the empty place across the table will cast a pall on any pleasant feelings you’ve managed to work up. Along those lines, avoid any of the ‘old favorites’ that might be painful. Order take-out or cook at home, but don’t fix that special dinner you used to make with the person you loved.

Stay busy. Chances are you’ve heard advice similar to the following: “Get out of the house! He wouldn’t want you to stop living your own life.” And while such insights might not always be what you want to hear, they are underpinned with truth. If you’re dreading the rush of painful emotions and memories that Valentine’s Day will bring, try to plan an activity that will take your mind off of things. Schedule some quality time with friends and family. Play some board or card games rather than watching movies, unless there isn’t a hint of romance in them. This is definitely one day when romance can be very painful. Instead, focus on a new project that you really enjoy, such as redecorating your home.

Allow the emotions to come. Remember that grief never fits into a neat timetable, and that it’s unhealthy to pretend that everything’s okay when it’s not. No matter how prepared you think you are or how much of your life you think you may have rebuilt after suffering a devastating loss, grief can still bowl you over with emotion. Valentine’s Day is especially tough because not only do you have to deal with your own memories, but your senses are constantly assaulted, too. Try not to focus on the flowers and hand-holding and candy. Remember that it’s okay to cry. Let the emotions come—just try to keep them from overwhelming you. Depending on how you feel, you might write a love poem or letter to the one whom you are grieving. The point is that it’s okay to remember those whom you loved and lost.

Turn your love to other treasures. Although Valentine’s Day is largely marketed to lovers, it isn’t limited to them—in fact, far from it. February 14^th is a time to focus on anyone and everyone whom you love, such as your children and grandchildren and friends. Love comes in many different kinds of relationships. Celebrate those, even though the loss of the person with whom you were passionate still hurts. In fact, why not buy a box of the old, simple Valentines you distributed as a child and send one to each of your friends? Every day is a good day to tell those whom you love how you feel. And don’t forget to love yourself in the process.

While I have rebuilt my life and moved on, my memories of Valentine’s Days past with Gordon continue to hold a special place in my heart. As much as possible, try to focus on all of the blessings you still have in your life, and on all of the love that you still enjoy. Life is always a combination of good and bad. We should all appreciate the good, and know that when bad things happen in our lives the only way forward is to take one small step at a time. And remember that one heart still beats and must survive.

Joni James Aldrich believes that she has been preparing to write The Saving of Gordon and The Losing of Gordon for most of her life. In her professional career, she has worked in analysis, documentation, communications, and public speaking. However, her real motivation for writing these books was two years of crisis in the cancer school of hard knocks. She feels it is her destiny to relay this story to readers in a way that will help them in their own cancer journeys.

Joni is also the author of The Cancer Patient W-I-N Book: Our Cancer Fight.

For more information, visit www.thecancerlifeline.com and www.griefbeacon.com.

Photo credit © Catalin Petolea | Dreamstime.com

An Interview with Starless Sky Author Paige Agnew/Giveaway

Editor — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 07:53:48 +0000

While most other 15-year-old girls were at the mall trying to figure out how they could get the attention of their latest crush, Paige Agnew was fast at her desk writing her first fiction novel. You heard right, at fifteen, this Michigan-born writing enthusiast decided to not only pen her own novel, but have it published as well.

Published in January of 2010, Starless Sky touched on the tender subject of death and how a teen, named Kahlen, deals with pain and grief, but it also has blatant messages of hope and expectation as Kahlen begins her journey back towards understanding and wholeness.

Starless Sky is about a girl, Kahlen, who is experiencing the loss of a friend. Kahlen feels alone and lonely, but she also gets tired of people feeling sorry for her and giving her sympathetic looks. Going to Dean’s Creek is the only place she finds solace. Well, at least it WAS the only place until Kennley showed up. Now she can’t even find solace there…or can she?

In the midst of loss, there is life; a sentiment Kahlen was not quick to accept. But in the process of the daily routine of school, dropping grades, frustrated parents, and pain, Kahlen begins to gain insights (the kind that comes from fortune cookies or good friends). Her newfound wisdom and the strain of dealing with Kennley and his troubling past lead her to an exciting new phase of life. Starless Sky is a genuine portrayal of grief and loss, yet comforting and filled with hope and expectation. It is a book of encouragement through following the lives of high schoolers.

What are the three words that describe Starless Sky?

Paige: Encouraging, Inspiring, Serious while Entertaining

What makes Starless Sky unique?

Paige: How many times have you read a book or seen a movie where a character dies and you can’t help but bawl your eyes out? (Never? Well then, may I recommend Nicolas Sparks? Great writer, but grab a box of Kleenex). Because I have experienced my share of tears reading and watching movies, I wanted to write a story where I could tap into something as deep as death, but instead of
leaving the reader in despair, I would portray hope. This makes Starless Sky unique.

Where did you get the idea for Starless Sky?

Paige: Sitting bored watching TV is when I generally come up with an idea for writing. I wanted to take on the challenge of writing a book about death that wasn’t entirely sad. In addition, the story gave me an opportunity to draw from my own very real pain of having recently loss someone I loved so much.

What advice can you give to a teenager who is grieving?

Paige: Talk about your loss, write about it if you are not a talker, but get it out somehow. Share your feelings with someone who can help you and that is not always peers as their knowledge may be limited regardless of how mature or well meaning. Ask to speak with a counselor for additional support. Know that the stages of grief and loss are not really stages that happen in a specific order; know that you are not losing your mind. Healing takes time and it is a deliberate process. Healing does not truly happen just because you will it. Mostly, I am saying, do not go through it alone – let others help you – take some time to be alone if needed but balance it with self care and support.

How old were you when you first started writing?

Paige: I honestly do not remember when I first started writing, but I do know when I became very serious about it and had a passion for it. I was in 5th grade and I absolutely loved writing stories. Sixth through eighth grade I attended the Young Author’s Conference in my city. I was delighted students had the opportunity to attend the conference. While I liked school, meeting authors and learning more about writing was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Each summer since 5th grade, I have spent every day writing and reading. My mother first bought tons of notebooks, then eventually my own laptop because she did not want to share with me (as she would never get equal time), and now I have flash/thumb drives to store all of my writing.

What inspires you to write?

Paige: What inspires me to write is my love for books. Every time I read a good book, I think about my own, I think about how I can improve my writing skills, I think about how one day I want someone to read the final page of my book and just say “wow” -the same way I do with others. I love stepping into others’ worlds in the realm of literature. I just hope other people enjoy the adventure as much as I do.

How do you develop the characters?

Paige: You can’t tell a story if you don’t know it. You have to play around with ideas inside your head and get to know your characters and their personalities. What would they say? What would they wear? Who would they hang out with and why? The more real the world is inside your head, the better it transmits to paper. When Kahlen first met Kennley at the creek, I had to ask myself who I wanted Kennley to be as a character. I wanted him to be a bad boy, but he seemed too nice for that. Okay. But why? Why would a bad boy seem good? Well maybe he used to be bad but now he’s not anymore. Well what changed? Hmm, I don’t know. And since I don’t know, I won’t let the audience know either. For now, let’s just make him…a mystery.

Is any of the book from your real life?

Paige: It is funny when people who know me think the book is all about my real life just because they know about the loss I experienced. There are bits and pieces that come from real people, but the book is not a replica of my life. For example, the Random game in the book comes from a game a friend and I made up while bored and waiting for track practice to come up. However, the character is not like my friend. Another example occurs when the parents and Kahlen go to the movie theater; in real life, we laugh about movies my dad wants to see. However, the parents in the story are not the same as my parents. Most genuine are the feelings of Kahlen; I felt those feelings and I experienced that pain when my friend died.

How do you remember to wrap up loose ends?

Paige: Sometimes tying up loose ends is easier than others. When preparing for my writing, my notes are very detailed; as I go along, I add and add and add to my notebook, making sure I keep those loose ends in mind. Sometimes the loose ends are so prominent in my mind that it just flows naturally in my writing and it’s not difficult at all. Overall, what helps is reading over my work for myself so I can catch my mistakes and think ―oh, that’s right. I still have to add this in.

What can you tell us about your next book?

Paige: My next book is titled Seven; it is a fiction, mystery, suspense-thriller. Seven tells the story of seven people whose lives come together because of a kidnapper. The story of each individual leads to the time they all come together. For example two characters are escaping an abusive childhood home and one character is an attorney without much direction. In the book there are clues (or things that appear to be clues) that mislead reader thus building the suspense. A common thread I have recognized in this book (as in Starless Sky) is self exploration among both the teens and the adults in the book. Each of the seven characters is forced (literally) to look at their own talents and lives in order to escape. Not all of them are willing. So, will they all be freed from the grips of the kidnapper? Want to know the answer? Great, read Seven.

Starless Sky can be purchased www.PaigeAgnew.com, BarnesandNoble.com, as well as Amazon.com. You may also connect with Agnew via Starless Sky on facebook.

Chic Galleria is pleased to be giving away a copy of Starless Sky (ARV $28.88) to one (1) lucky winner. Would you or someone you know enjoy reading this book? To enter, just leave a comment on this article. A winner will be chosen at random from the comments and announced here on February 28, 2011.

For extra chances to win:

1. Like Starless Sky on Facebook.

2. Post the giveaway on your Facebook profile page tagging @Chic Galleria and @Starless Sky.

3. Follow @ChicGalleria on Twitter.

4. Like Chic Galleria on Facebook.

Please leave a comment for each additional entry.

Congratulations to our winner, Mary Ward!

Five Things To Look For In Your Date’s Face!

Editor — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 07:35:47 +0000

By Jean Haner

Thirty years ago, I married into a Chinese family. But it wasn’t until a few years after the wedding that I discovered how truly tolerant my mother-in-law really was – because I didn’t have “moneybags” in my face I wasn’t a lucky match for her son!

My mother-in-law introduced me to face reading, and at first, I thought it was a ridiculous superstition – and how abhorrent to judge someone based on their appearance! It wasn’t until I began to study with master teachers that I discovered the deeper principles of face reading, and learned that it has nothing to do with “luck” and everything to do with learning to be true to your nature.

Face reading is actually an ancient branch of Chinese medicine. It was at first used as a diagnostic tool for health. But physicians soon realized face reading also revealed someone’s inner personality, what they needed to be happy in life, what careers would suit them best, and what their purpose in the world would be. Thousands of years ago, face readers were the original therapists and personal coaches – the ones we consulted for guidance in love, career and life path.

I teach workshops to help you read the photos in those online dating sites, or to understand who’s really sitting across from you in the candle-lit restaurant! The first thing to know is that there are no bad combinations. Any relationship can be successful; it’s a matter of awareness and understanding. The more insights you gain into your date’s true nature, the more easily love can grow.

You cannot single out one feature on someone’s face and know all about who they are, of course. Instead, it’s seeing how the features together reveal the choreography of that person’s unique inner dance. But there are certainly details you can notice on someone’s face that can help you understand some important aspects of their personality.

So in this light, let me share with you some insights you may get from the face of the one you adore!

Eyebrows: Full, long eyebrows indicate someone who loves to be active both in work and play. Especially if they also have a strong jaw, they’re not going to be happy lounging on the couch with you – instead they want to go out for a run! They’re likely to be confident and assertive, but also have more potential for anger and frustration than other people. They seek challenge and won’t back down from an argument. This kind of person has a wonderfully logical mind and is excellent at solving problems or creating a plan to reach a goal. But they don’t like to dilly-dally and have no patience for people who can’t make up their minds. They love to just “do it!”

By the way, any woman who has naturally thick eyebrows but plucks them too much can diminish her level of self-confidence or her ability to be assertive. And a woman who reduces her strong eyebrows into pencil-thin ones can actually develop an anger problem!

Eyes: They say the eyes are the “window to the soul” but in Chinese face reading, they’re considered to be the window to the heart. One of the messages someone’s eyes reveal is how easily they communicate their most private, heartfelt feelings.

If your date has very deep-set eyes, or holds their eyes in a narrowed fashion, you’ll probably find that they can’t easily talk about their more difficult emotions, even with the people they’re closest to. They may also be more skeptical overall, meaning you’ll need to work to earn their trust. However, once you do, they’re your friend forever.

Someone with large eyes, especially if they are held very wide open, tend to wear their heart on their sleeves. They’ll express their feelings very easily and may not understand when others can’t be as open in communications. They may be overly-trusting or even gullible.

Neither kind of eye is right or wrong – it all comes down to what’s most comfortable for you. If you’re someone who takes some time to warm up to others and let them in, you may find a wide-eyed date a bit too much to take! If you value open communications and don’t understand why anyone would prefer to keep some things unspoken, you may feel hurt and frustrated by someone who, for instance, doesn’t like to talk about your relationship but would rather sit on the couch and watch the game together!

Mouth: A large mouth with full lips reveals someone for whom relationships are very important. They’re generous and emotionally available – sometimes too much so! Others who don’t share this priority may judge them as demanding or overly-involved in the lives of their friends or family. Someone with a very small mouth compared to the size of their other features may have less need for relationship, or alternatively can act a bit needy or clingy with friends or in romance.

Jaw: The Chinese call the jaw “the roots of the tree.” A tree with strong roots can’t easily be pushed over. This means that someone with a large, or highly-defined jaw can’t be easily influenced – they have strong values and firm beliefs. They’ll stand up for what they believe in, but may not be so open to other people’s ideas. They size you up quickly – they’ll likely make a decision about you the moment you walk in the door. A very strong jaw indicates a judgmental personality who may leap to conclusions too quickly!

Someone with a narrow jaw will be more flexible, and able to listen to all sides of an argument. However, they may be indecisive or too easily influenced by what others say.

Chin: The chin reveals the level of someone’s willpower – the more prominent the chin, the greater their tenacity and determination. Once they set their mind to something, they’ll stick with it till they reach their goal. This can also translate into a stubborn nature! And if you know someone with a chin that sticks out and then up, you may as well throw up your hands and give up now, as you’ll never be able to make them do anything they don’t want to!

If someone has a receding chin, this is an indication they might have been oppressed early in life; not allowed to exert their willpower. They may lack confidence or give up too early when the going gets tough. On the other hand, because they know what it feels like to be the underdog, they may develop incredible strength in helping the little guy!

Using the wisdom of your face, you can move from reaction and judgment to a place of love and compassion, not only in romance, but for whoever you encounter in life. Even more importantly, you can look at that reflection in the mirror and truly say, “I love you.”

Jean Haner, the author of The Wisdom of Your Face and The Wisdom of Your Child’s Face, teaches compassionate and affirming ways for people to understand their true nature and to look with love at everyone in their lives. Jean is well known for providing fun, fascinating and practical information that can be put to immediate use in your life. Learn more at www.wisdomofyourface.com.