Diet, Exercise, and Love: Find What's Right For You!

We strive so hard to do the right thing, get the right job, wear the right clothes, or meet the right person that it sometimes feels like we are living someone else’s life. We are in an era where if we choose one thing, we are afraid all other options might disappear. Get married, and you’ll never be intimate with anyone ever again. Have a baby, and lose out on your dreams. Take the corporate job with the big check, and lose a little bit of your soul. Get a killer body, but give up every single thing you love to eat. As I ponder these things (having fallen prey to them myself), I must ask: Who says?

Most of these questions are based on fear: fear of the unknown, fear of missing out, fear of making the wrong decision. Where is the unwritten rule that says by choosing one thing, all others disappear? Let’s take marriage for instance. There are endless jokes about marriage and billions of divorces to prove how “miserable” some people are. It is assumed if you get married, that you are on lock-down, that you will get bored, or that life will inevitably become stale and boring. Just because some people have experienced this does not mean that you will too. But there’s that fear… “If I get married, there’s a chance it won’t work out.” And the “what ifs” start piling up. It happens with money, with family, with everything. “I must have security!” you say. “Security!” Security means paper, which means money. And while money provides a sense of freedom, it’s not worth doing something you abhor. Life’s not about “doing what you have to do” to make ends meet. That’s simply what we’ve decided it’s about. And perhaps it’s time to change.

It seems we often look to outside sources for the way things will/are supposed to be before we even decide for ourselves what we want to do or be. Your mother, father, teachers, mentors or friends can’t tell you what you should be doing. Just because you’re 35 doesn’t mean you have to have a husband, a steady paycheck, a mortgage and 2.5 kids. That’s the beauty of this world – we can do whatever we want. We can start over, move away, re-ignite a passion and put happiness above what looks good. This can be somewhat of a singular path… and some people won’t quit a bad job, end a relationship or travel if they don’t have support behind them. Here’s some advice: support yourself.

Whatever it is that you do, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Examine and re-examine your life and what’s in it. Make changes. Take risks. It’s what life is all about.

Diet: In terms of the things you eat, you can’t set yourself up for a “diet” mentality. So many people ask: “What works?” What works is whatever works for you. The way food affects your body is a science. Just because I’ve found what works for me doesn’t mean it will work for you. But, there are some tried and true facts. Eat whole foods. Limit processed foods. Drink plenty of water. Exercise. It’s about making smarter choices more often and substituting crap with healthier foods. There’s no quick fix, no diet pill, no book or recipe that will work for you forever. It’s about finding out what you can live with while still living your life. Don’t take anything away. Just modify. Find a solution to your problem and make it part of your routine, just like brushing your teeth.

Exercise: If you are lucky enough to have a job that keeps you moving all day, then you are a step ahead. If these were different times and we actually had to get up to change the TV channel, or take stairs instead of the elevator and weren’t confined to our chairs, then we would be a lot healthier. If you added up all the hours of your life you have either been horizontal or confined to a chair, it would astonish you. You have to find activities that you love and the time when you love to do them. If you hate the gym, don’t go to the gym. Again, eating right and exercise should be about pleasure. Find something that you love and find ways to make it part of your daily routine.

Love: Perhaps the trickiest and most fluid occurrence in life is love. Love can start out fierce and fizzle, or creep up slowly and ignite, or end tragically, or cause bad decisions or an unbearable loss, or a happy ending/beginning. Love is mandatory. Without it, we would perish. When it comes to your own relationships, you have to decide what it is you really want, and realize that there is no perfect person. I’ve said it before, but you can’t and won’t get everything you need from one person, especially if you’re not self-satisfied in the first place. That being said, find someone who lets you be yourself, who makes you laugh, who you can simply be with. Don’t be concerned with what others think or constantly try to prove how great your mate is to the world. Be satisfied with what you have. If you’re not, then change it.

For the first time in my life, I am really happy with someone; it is a quiet happiness I have never known. I do not have to justify why we decided to get married, how I simply know this is the man I will grow old with, or how, after a few tumultuous relationships and many mistakes, I am completely and incredibly happy. It took a lot of self-evaluation, forgiveness and time alone before I could ever be open to wanting something real or lasting.

Start thinking about what it is you want and need in your life, and what you could do without. Each moment is precious. Don’t waste them. Got questions? I’m here!

Rea Frey is an author, personal trainer and nutrition expert. She writes about living a balanced life at www.reafrey.com and also runs a food blog at www.chicagonow.com/cleanconvenientcuisine. She is the Cheeky Life Coach for Cheeky Chicago and has 2 weekly columns: one for vegans and one for brides looking to have beautiful but inexpensive weddings. Her book, The Cheat Sheet: A Clue-by-Clue Guide to Finding Out if He’s Unfaithful (Adams Media) will be released this summer.