The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex
By Kristen Schaal and Rich Blomquist

Welcome to a Sexy World of Sexy Sex

Sex is the most powerful and important thing in the universe, and if you aren’t instantly good at it you probably never will be and everyone will laugh at you. This is something you should know before even attempting sex.

Fortunately, you hold in your hands the ultimate guide to getting your rocks off, rigorously field tested by the authors. Every sexual technique they have tried. Every erogenous zone they have erogenated. Every STD they have suffered from — sometimes for way too long — just to see what would happen.

But beware — this sexy knowledge comes with a terrible price:

First, a suggested retail of $24.95 ($29.95 in Canada). Admittedly on the high end for this type of book, but the authors have to eat.

Second — and far more important — after you have read this book, there is no going back.

Once absorbed, the wisdom contained in The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex cannot be unlearnt. You may easily spend the rest of your life orgasming you brains out and neglecting your friendships, you career, and every other aspect of your life that doesn’t involve constant genital stimulation. To call you a “mindless sex zombie” would be putting it gently. But you will be completely satisfied . . . as will your legions of sexual partners.

WELL, ARE YOU IN?

Kristen Schaal is an actress and comedian known to people with HBO as “Mel” from Flight of the Conchords and to people without HBO as someone who looks like Miranda July.

Rich Blomquist is a writer for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and is not known to anyone. The authors live together in Manhattan, in sin. In the time it took you to read this, they had four orgasms (each).

Follow Kristen on Facebook and Twitter.

Chic Galleria is giving away a copy of The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex to one (1) lucky Chic Galleria reader.  Would you or someone you know love this book?  To enter, just leave a comment on this article.  The winner will be chosen at random from the comments and announced on August 22, 2010.

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