If your child has just made the move from middle school to a much larger high school they may be in shock. Don’t worry, it’s not medical, but it does require intervention from you if you want them to succeed and thrive during the next four years.

Middle schools are generally smaller and safer due to a lower student population. High schools are generally fed by multiple middle schools and cultures combine and clash in various ways throughout the year.

Poor high school transition has been linked to dropout rates and some of this is due to students being ill prepared for the rigorous school load as well as the new social climate.

As the Dean of Students at a Denver area college preparatory highschool, I see the effects of poor transitions and, even though a student may be getting some help through the high school, much of the burden for a smooth sail falls on the parents. As a parent you can help your child in the following ways:

1. Shadowing in the Spring – Most schools offer the ability for perspective students to visit for a ½ or a full day of classes. They’ll pair them up with a student that is an advocate for the school enabling your son or daughter to get a clearer picture of the daily functions a typical high school student encounters at that particular school. They’ll see how teachers operate, how high the bar is actually raised, what happens in the halls, and learn their way around the school. The day spent shadowing is invaluable and should not be overlooked.

2. Freshmen transition programs – There are a variety of transition programs high schools have initiated or bought into (Link Crew, Freshmen Transition Initiative, etc.). These programs place incoming students into small groups run by student leaders with the goal of building rapport and excitement for the approaching school year, or the school year itself once classes have actually begun. Encourage your child to participate in every activity. The more they’re  involved the easier the transition and the more people they know as they enter the halls that first day of school. Transition programs at some high schools run for the entire school year and act as either advisory or mentor groups.

3. Participate in at least one school activity – When students are engaged in school activites they enter into a community with a shared experience. This shared experience creates a bond and gives the student a niche for that point in time. Examples of school activities include sports, theater, speech and debate, clubs, student government, leadership opportunities, and even office help. Don’t let the decision to participate be up to your child. You set the bar for their first year and require them to do their best to reach it.

4.  Help them navigate the social environment – This can be tricky if your child doesn’t talk much, but, through careful questioning, you can learn enough about their world to get a pretty clear picture of what a day in their school life might look like. If they have transitioned into a new school on their own who are the new friends they’ve made? If they’ve transitioned with friends, are those friendships still intact or have their friends begun to branch out? Do they have a locker near any of their friends? Do they have classes with any friends? If so, who? Have they noticed any changes in their friends? If so, what? Why do they think they’re changing? How do they feel about that?

5. Involvement with friends and groups outside of school – As a parent, you can create the venue (skating, movies, dinner, etc.) and they can invite the friends. Even though they might not want to be seen as they’re dropped off or picked up by you, what choice do they have? When students have connections outside of school they have more reason to connect in school. Having common experiences helps to create their group or circle of friends and when they have a core group they have security and can branch out.

6.  Know the choices they’re making – Students that have a hard time connecting may connect with others having a hard time and, depending on the reasons for the disconnect, my fall into company that is prone to make choices that are detrimental to their well being. If you find your child becoming more secretive about their friendships or their activities this should raise a red flag. Invite their new friends over so you can assess their character and then speak with your child about what you discerned. Don’t hope they make the right choices. They still need your guidance and you have much more wisdom than they do anyway.

Don’t leave your child’s transition to fate. This is a time in their life that your words of wisdom and prodding will be appreciated whether they thank you now or later.

Leslie Bogar, M Ed

Leslie is the Dean of Students at a Denver area college preparatory high school. She has written for various publications and raised three teens of her own.

Tags: freshman, freshmen, high school, parent, transition