Sitting at my kitchen table, coffee in hand and a blank canvas in front of me, I can do nothing but ponder at what to write down, what to talk about, how to find the words to describe what it’s like to go through those trials and tribulations of being at the edge of the end of my twenties. Most people would look at me and think that I am crazy as I am about to write and complain about being in my twenties. Most people would say your twenties are the best years of your life; they are a time when the world is in the palm of your hands. This only makes me think that their twenties were so mysterious and so confusing, so misleading that they’ve forgotten how their twenties really went. I know that I am not the only one who feels this way about this time in our lives, I’ve had many conversations about this with friends, co-workers and even family, all have the same opinion; you feel nothing but lost in your twenties.

To begin with, the pressures are insurmountable. At this point in your life not only are you dealing with the disappointment that you didn’t end up where you thought you were going to be, but you are trying to deal with everyone else’s disappointment. Maybe disappointment is the wrong word to use, maybe it is just dealing with the surprise that where you thought you were going to end up and where everyone else thought you were going to end up was never really where you supposed to be.

To add on to that confusion of figuring out where you are supposed to be, let’s add on insecurity. Be honest now, no matter how confident the person, the twenties definitely add in some surprisingly overwhelming insecurity. Whether it is in your relationships, your work, yourself, or overall just that feeling that you aren’t doing it right at all. That’s the thing about it, about being in your twenties, no one tells you what you are doing is right. There is no training book on how to start your life, how to pick the right job; pick the right fights, or even the simplest task of picking the right food at the grocery store. No matter how good of an upbringing you had, or how supportive your parents are, you are thrust out into this world to figure it all out on your own.

Figure it out on your own. That’s the scariest part; on your own. Really you aren’t on your own, well at least I know that I am not, but let me tell you the twenties have this magical power to make you feel like no one in the world can possibly understand how you feel. I know that I am not alone in this journey; I have a great circle of friends and family that are all so supportive of me and my decisions. The thing is though, the pressure is on because it is the decisions that I am making today and the day before and tomorrow that are going to shape the life I live. If I pick the wrong career and make the wrong decisions with work then that just means trying to figure out what it is that I want to do ten, fifteen years later. If I make the wrong relationship choices than well I am sure that we can all imagine where it all goes from there. The list goes on and on.

So the advice that I hear from all over is just to enjoy, just living day to day and enjoying it while I have it. So easy to say, harder to do. The biggest thing missing, I guess, is just trusting in yourself and knowing that what you are doing is what is right for you, for now, for the better. Watch the seasons change and take it all in and enjoy the fact that you are figuring it all out. Make my mistakes, work on my relationships, and make sure that what I do with my days is at least working towards something. Whether it is just that last proposal at work, figuring out this month’s budget, or just making a personal goal for myself. I leave now confused as ever, fumbling through the last years of my twenties and hoping that the thirties come with some more assurance, maybe some more ground under my feet, but really just hoping that it is good enough that I am at least making decisions, making choices, and trying to be the happiest I can be!

I leave you all now with a great poem that I heard from a friend that helps in those times where the twenties seem like they will forever be cursed with indecision and certainty all at the same time.

Advice From A Tree – Ilan Shami

Dear Friend
Stand Tall and Proud
Sink your roots deeply into the Earth
Reflect the light of your true nature
Think long term
Go out on a limb
Remember your place among all living beings
Embrace with joy the changing seasons
For each yields its own abundance
The Energy and Birth of Spring
The growth and Contentment of Summer
The Wisdom to let go like the leaves in the Fall
The rest and Quiet renewal of Winter

Feel the wind and the sun
And delight in their presence
Look up at the moon that shines down upon you
And the mystery of the stars at night
Seek nourishment from the good things in life
Simple pleasures
Earth, fresh air, light
Be content with your natural beauty
Drink plenty of water
Let your limbs sway and dance in the breezes
Be flexible
Remember your Roots
Enjoy the view!

Tags: growing up, life, love, relationships, stacey vernon, stress, twenties