To all the fabulous ladies recently out of a relationship:

I once read an article in which actress Cameron Diaz equated the breakup of a relationship by claiming it was divine intervention. The concept being, that this person has been cosmically removed; the universe intervened for your highest and best interest.

I could not agree more.

We as mortals cannot possibly understand the waves and crashed that occur in front of us. We are not designed that way. We do not know what will happen tomorrow, next week, or next year. This of course, is perfection. We would not keep reading the novel if we knew how it ended, correct?

What many people fret over when it comes to the demise of the relationship is the concept of doing things differently. “If only I called less.” “Maybe if I listened more.” “If only I let him watch sports more.” The problem with this thinking is that it makes one believe that the DOA relationship would have survived. Yes, you should have called less, and yes you should listen more. You could even purchase boxed seats to his favourite sporting game if it suited you. However, even by doing these things you may prolong the relationship for a little while, but, inevitably if he or she is not meant for you, there will be another reason, at another time and the end result will be the same.

Trust me.

The universe always has your highest interest in play. What appears to be a devastating scenario is really just a stepping stone. This situation is brought your way to teach you a lesson, and prep you for something incessantly better.

This is not to argue the fact that breakups are incredibly hard. I believe, personally, that the feeling of heartache is the absolute worst emotion one can feel. For us women, it can dig into our own concept of femininity. It can make us question what we have to offer; how come he did not want it, get it, or see the potential. However, at the end of the day you as a sexy, amazing, funny and kind woman are worth more than dragging your heels in a relationship with someone who does not serve you. No matter how long it has been since you have broken up, a month, a year, even an hour, it is going to be a painful process, but the work you do now will only make you better for the next one.

One of the reasons why breakups can be so devastating is the concept that you are on your own again. We live in a paired up society that celebrates partnerships, and if you are by yourself for the time being, there is something wrong with you, or so it would make one believe. Magazines, movies, even family and friends can enforce the “One is the Loneliest Number” mentality that can add determent to the breakup process. We have all seen the person eating alone at the restaurant, and wonder why they didn’t have anyone to join them, and if we will ever be that way. Our brain chemistry goes berserk, and we act irrationally.

Ladies, I have a better way.

Now that you have more time for yourself, it is in your best interest to utilize it effectively. Again, the universe we live in has sublime potential for you, and by removing you from the wrong guy, you now have an open schedule to take care of yourself. You now can do whatever you please, and “get back to yourself.” Simply put- change your hair, read that book collecting dust on your nightstand, catch up with your girlfriends. This is your time now, and it has been given to you as a gift. The spaces in between relationships are truly only meant to improve you, and have you honestly look at yourself and what you require from a partner. It is my belief that once you do your ‘self homework’ and are ready to get back out there, someone will show up.

When I first began to really learn about universal energy, and cosmic alliances, I started reading books written by fantastic spiritual leaders. One of my favourite authors, Marianne Williamson once wrote something that helped me to first understand the nutshell of this world. She states: “Someone once sent me a photograph that had been taken by a fisherman in Newfoundland. It was a picture of an iceberg, not only the part of it that protrudes above the water line, but also what’s underneath the water. We all know, of course, that what is visible on top of the water is approximately 10 percent of the iceberg. Still, seeing the image was mind-blowing. It’s shocking to recognize how much of life our eyes don’t see. Every situation is like that iceberg, teeming with forces that aren’t visible to the physical eye.”

What she is trying to explain is that we are just living this life, and dealing with what we are given, not as aware of what else is out there. How inspiring. There is so much to this life that we are not aware of, and that my friends should excite you to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving.

In the end, breakups are crushingly excruciating. But, if you really understand the situation at hand, you can learn to understand that this is truly for your highest good, and that because you are so wonderful, you have been given the gift of separation. Because you have more to offer, are worth more, and require a partner that is up to your standards, you are now skipping through the proverbial man line-up and are getting ready for the right one.  We are all on a cosmic timetable, after all. The person who is meant for you would never put you through distress, hurt you, abuse you, cheat on you, or disappear. Even if he did none of these things, yet chose to leave, it is a clear case of ‘not meant to be.’

Believe me.

Love, Stephanie.

Photo Credit © Razvanjp | Dreamstime.com

Tags: Breakups, dating, love, Universe