When it comes to love and relationships, often times we keep our rose coloured glasses on. We excuse behaviour that we would have normally had serious issue with. We tend to see our partner in the best light, not only for our own hopes, but to confirm those feelings. However, sometimes our inner guiding light tells us otherwise. These are, in my opinion, considered messages, or moments in which the gal or guy of our dreams shows us who they are; and it is our choice on how to interpret it.

I spent much of 2009 with a man who cared very little for me. I truly hoped for the best, but deep down I knew the score. However, the universe sometimes has the opportunity to tell us before we are ready to hear if for ourselves. Call it intuition, gut instincts, a little voice…the point is, it is up to us to hear the message. If we ignore it, it will only get stronger, and the message will be harder to swallow.

Said boy was in my life for a while. I saw him in such a radiant light. I truly believed we were supposed to be around each other; passion was off the charts. Keeping the most intimate details private, it is safe to say I was duped, and I ignored my gut and it bit me.

Well, it actually cut my finger.

I cut myself at work so badly that one of my higher ups had to escort me to the hospital.  Being as squeamish as I am, it was incredibly difficult and scary to have such situation happen. Needless to say this man was just not there. He knew of my injury. He knew what happened. He knew I was anxious about it. He did not call me. He did not even inquire about it. He did not even flinch.

That my friends, was the message.  I needed something to literally hurt me enough to realize this was not right. Because I am the kind of person that needs to touch the stove to know it’s hot, lessons come to me with full impact.

Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are for the first time, believe them!” This was the moment when I realized this person had zero regard for me, my life, my feelings and my heart. That moment, when I was in need, the man that I was more than intimate with had no regard. It was enough for me.

Luckily, there is a way out of this. If you have the cojones to actually listen to the message the first time, there will be no need for another signal. If you ignore what the universe tells you, the message will come back, harder hitting, until you ‘get it.’ There is evidence that suggests that the happy chemical Serotonin can secrete in the stomach, producing physical reactions to the gut feelings that emulate before, throughout, and after a tricky situation. The intuitive signal saying:  “Danger danger” exists, but because nothing is tangible to back it up, we ignore the message.

I used to joke with my roommate about my internal compass, and how accurate it is. When I am living my best life I am happy, jovial, and more inclined to be generous and kind. When you are in your best place, you do these acts naturally. When things are off, or my energy is out of whack, I am sour, restless and not the most pleasant chick to be around. Because I have trained myself to be more self aware to intuition and gut feelings, my moods really take a nosedive when I ignore what I know I have to do.

The really fun thing about the messages, or moments that happen to us regarding a person or situation is that if you do what is required of you, the universe rewards you. You dump the guy, quit the job, finally confront someone, you make a conscious choice for something better. The second you finally trust your gut, and stop ignoring what it is trying to tell you, you will not have to suffer ‘learning the lesson’ any longer, and you end up with what you want.

Case and point, as soon as my finger healed, a girlfriend of mine went out for dinner and ran into one of her former co-workers. After niceties were exchanged we were discussing this very topic, and he unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a tattoo of a compass, etched on his heart to ‘help guide him.’  How ironic. We have been together ever since.
Photo Credit© Bertold Werkmann | Dreamstime.com
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Tags: love, relationships, Self-awareness