Everything was glistening in the sun as I left my apartment on the west side of Ames. A thunderstorm had just passed, leaving the air hot and muggy, so typical of a hot July day in my youth. The grass outside the window seemed appreciative of the long hard drink it had gotten.
As I headed east I could see that the billowy clouds up above the buildings were still dark. When I got to Campustown the rain was pelting down, much as it had at my apartment.
I circled back, finding myself once again bathed in sunlight. There’s got to be a rainbow, I thought, recalling a double rainbow I’d once seen with young red-haired Richard, years before back in New Jersey.
I turned around in a driveway and again headed east. Sure enough, just at the tops of the buildings I could see the edge of a faint rainbow.
I ought to get Mother, I thought, and drive to a place where we can really see it.
No, I must get to Kinko’s and get my fax sent. The rainbow will have to wait.
I recalled a poem by Anne Payne I had copied into my book, the book like Mother’s that she wrote favorite things in.
Scarlet Cannot Wait
I have not washed the dishes
Nor made my rumpled bed
But out along the roadside
The trees are turning red.
I can wash tomorrow
And sweep behind the grate
But gold is not enduring
And scarlet cannot wait.
For while I polished silver
And raked the withered grass,
And straightened out the blankets
The sweet parade would pass.
Tis proper to be tidy
And thrifty if you must
But I’d rather see October
Than save the house from dust.
I have found over the years that rainbows are like scarlet — they cannot wait — so I stop by Mother’s and find her in the house, sitting alone in the living room, with all the doors closed, the curtains pulled, and the TV on.
“How would you like to go for a ride?” I ask. “We might find a rainbow.” She seems appreciative of my invitation, coming with me but leaving her purse that is just like mine behind.
We drive south, going on a road I don’t know but that feels like the old country club road. As we get further out of town, Mother notices the dark clouds and complains mildly, “It’s so cloudy.”
“But Mother, it’s what I call, BIG SKY! Look at the wonderful shapes the clouds make, and look how they fill the sky.”
As we turn west, I point out the changing cloud patterns up ahead. To the north, where we can see the sun reflecting off white fluffy clouds, Mother notices large patches of bright blue shining through here and there. I can tell her mood has improved.
She begins to read the road signs as she did on our forages to find me a place to live, but somehow it doesn’t annoy me like it did then. I realize now that she’s not reading them in order to inform me of the speed so I’ll slow down, but just for the pure pleasure of reading. I suspect that her reading is one way her body is fighting to stay healthy — to keep her brain as alert and fit as possible.
That afternoon we didn’t find the rainbow, but we did enjoy the wonders of the sky together. Mother does naturally at 81 what it took me ten years to learn — responding to and enjoying what is happening to us in the present moment, in the here-and-now, rather than putting our energy into either the past or the future.
About the author:
The Truth According to Sally Miller: Collected Essays by Sally Miller
The 65 short essays in this unusual collection are as progressive and practical as they were when first published twenty years ago. Drawing from her experience as a sexual counselor and a natural healer, Sally Miller treats us to two separate collections. In “Health and Wellness” Ms. Miller reveals her struggle with depression and her healing from cancer surgery without conventional medical treatment, as well as giving us instruction on time and stress management. In “Sexuality & Relationships” she exposes herself in a way few women have (Betty Dodson and Carol Queen come to mind) while offering advice to us all. Topics include psychological & spiritual growth, natural healing, family, relationships, sexual problems & solutions, and special sexual interests. The common thread through both parts is Ms. Miller’s refreshing honesty and her idealism. As well as being a thirteen-year ovarian cancer survivor, Sally Miller is a trained sex therapist; she holds the unique position to see her worlds up close and personal, to reflect on herself as well as to entertain and enlighten her readers.
The Truth According to Sally Miller: Collected Essays is available for $25 postage-paid through SynergyBookService website.
Articles by Sally on a variety of topics have been published in The Affiliate, The Rocky Mountain Oyster, The Women’s Newspaper of Princeton, EIDOS, Touchpoint, The Jersey Shore Holistic Magazine, Street News, Clean Sheets, and others. For details on her new book, The Truth According to Sally Miller: Collected Essays, see below. For more information, see the Synergy Book Service Web site.
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